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Read Letter

Butting Into Complication

My dear Jack, you don’t know much about life, do you? When the subject of your pursuit ominously warns you you have no idea what you’re trying to get into, shouldn’t you reflect? I mean this is direct warning, it’s not some third party hearsay. The woman herself is warning you. She’s in effect telling you you shouldn’t be pursuing her but if you decide to continue, don’t complain if you suffer. She’s warning you you don’t know what you’re dealing with, that you really don’t know her, or know ABOUT her. In other words, your romantic notions are completely out of whack with reality. There are hidden realities about her below the surface is what she’s telling you, things you know nothing about. But you have decided to be the famed hunter in D.O. Fagunwa’s Forest of a Thousand Demons. You’re ogboju ode! You have decided to go hunting where mortals fear to thread. I admire your courage, or foolishness.

You know very well her present boyfriend is struggling, that their relationship is being torn apart. But in your wisdom you consider that auspicious. Their problem has become your opportunity so you decided to swoop in. And yet the object of your amorous pursuit is warning you to stay off! Hmn! If you really think about it she’s telling you you’re just a child. (You are.) Children shouldn’t get involved in adult stuff. She’s either alluding to her character, telling you she’s not what you think, that she’s a really tough cookie. Or she’s alluding to her temperament – telling you in effect you can’t handle her when she turns into a fire-breathing dragon. Or she’s alluding to some very potent and dark spiritual stuff you can’t even begin to contemplate. In which case she feels sorry for you. But if you do decide to butt your head, why, that would be voluntary manslaughter. She’s saying you’re on a suicide mission and you need to examine your senses before you get pulled over the event horizon.

If she’s alluding to the spiritual, can you deal with the demons involved? Should you be tangling with such beings? These beings are vicious. Why would you go for complicatedness? There are women without complications. But if her warning is wholly about character (and I do hope so), she’s warning you she’s going to dominate your spirit. She’s telling you the relationship is going to be power dynamic and you’re going to wish you never started a relationship. I can’t but concur with her that you don’t know what you want to get yourself into, whatever that is. Whatever is the allure will evaporate when she gives you a sampling of what’s in store for you for the rest of your life.

Besides, you can’t even afford her economically. She’s ahead of you. You’re going in way over your head. Proximity breeds imaginative possibilities and possibility imaginations. Yes, she’s your friend, but even she’s saying you have no knowledge of her, haven’t scratched the surface. You think you know her but you don’t know jack is what she’s telling you. You’re luxuriating in delusion. But if you still want her she’s available. So also is all that stuff she warned you about. There’s plenteousness. Some people travel through life with excess luggage. But then there are those with cargo. This woman is a freight forwarder. This is not some elementary stuff is what she’s telling you. It’s not ordinary excess luggage. This is not some stuff you can address falsely believing if you love her the issues will go away. Really? It’s always presumptuous to imagine you can change someone. You yourself need some help. How can you deconstruct and reconfigure whom you never created? You don’t even have access code. The simplistic notion you’ll move into someone’s life and change the person is soon confronted with reality. As if humans are some unicellular animals and so with one tweak you can alter someone’s personality and erase the history. You can’t alter a tapeworm not to talk of a human. If you doubt go and teach a tapeworm not to burrow. Some people are hoping to marry the reformed human of their imagination, not the person right in front of them. You want to marry a hope, a supposition, a desire; you ignore the factuality of the living entity right in front of you. Do you know how complex the make-up of man is? So how do you imagine you can change someone, or reconfigure someone? You’ve been watching too many plastic surgery programmes on TV, programmes like Botched. Even reconfiguring the body has immense limitations. How are you going to reconfigure a soul? How are you going to deal with her legacy data? That legacy data gave birth to what’s in front of you. How do you intend to recode the soul of a human? Do you have messiah complex or what? People imagine they can use their lives to clean up others. It’s Exorcist movie thinking. Yet Exorcist is misinformation. When you do get into that exorcist task you’ll quickly realise you’ve embarked on an impossible undertaking.

Some people just like complications when it comes to relationships. They’re like those people who never take a straightforward route to a destination. They’d rather go round and round taking backstreets and alleys, and in the process confuse themselves. There’s a nice young woman you can date. She’s easy, loving, has good character. But you’d rather go for complication. You have a lust for complication. And when this woman is finished with you, you won’t recognise yourself. It’s not just young men who butt their head into complicated stuff, some women do too. You must love complication if you go for a married man. Then there are guys who start another relationship without breaking up with their girlfriend. They’re complication creators. And they won’t tell the new girlfriend about the subsisting relationship. They begin to lead double life.

Another stupid complication is when a guy tells a girl to compete for his affection with other girls after sleeping with her. That kind of problem won’t get resolved in an entire lifetime. It’s usually complicated by pregnancies. I’m just telling you to seek the straight and narrow way when it comes to relationship. Avoid serpentine complications. You never know what you’re getting yourself into with these serpentine complications. Leave this woman alone. Half a word is enough for the wisdom-minded.

Your mentor, LA

© Leke Alder |

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Tags : Attraction, Wisdom, Mystery, Backgrounds, voodoo, Choosing a partner

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