My dear Jil, you don’t have bad luck, you’re just exercising poor judgment. I get a lot of mails like yours from young women who have had successive broken relationships. These women sometimes feel there’s something wrong with them; that’s why their relationships don’t lead to marriage. They wonder why almost immediately after break up the guy goes on to marry someone else. Continue reading
My dear Jack, I was watching Dr. House the other day…I don’t know if you follow the series…You know, the program about the brilliant doctor whose mental state is somewhat sometimes questionable…Anyway, I was watching the program and there was this patient who suffered from agalmatophilia. Agalmatophilia is a sexual deviation involving attraction to a statue, doll or mannequin. Continue reading
My dear Jil, I think you’re mixing up some things. In choosing a groom it’s right to look at the personal qualities of the person, not just his family. He may come from a wondrous family but if he himself lacks the qualities of a good husband, you’ll have marital issues. And so you have the man, his familial context, which by the way is very important; but then you also have the marital ambiance. Continue reading
Dear Jack, what I’m trying so hard to help you avoid is the “20year Mistake.” You see, there are some relationship mistakes we make in life that take twenty years to get out of. I know it sounds incredible but it’s the truth. Continue reading
My dear Jack, I don’t know if you should continue to chase her. You’ve been at it for almost a year. The time elapsed does not qualify for playing hard to get and I’m not sure you’re what she wants. She’s not even making it possible for you to broach the subject of proposal. She’s stylishly dodging the issue. Continue reading
Okay, let’s talk about this “fit” we’ve been talking about. You see, there are three pressure points for men when it comes to relationship. They are the head, the heart, the groin. The order of course depends on each man. For some people the groin comes first, for others it’s either of the other two. A good choice takes cognizance of all three though. Continue reading
My dear Jack, I’m afraid I sense in your mail a burden of perplexity mixed with anxiety. You sound like someone looking for solution to an arcane problem requiring a stroke of genius. And that I worry about. Continue reading
My dear Jil, you are young. Don’t take life in gulps. Take it breath by breath. You can’t rush life. Life has its own pace. That is one hold life has over us. It is true we say: Do not leave till tomorrow what you can do today. But the corollary is equally true: Do not do today what you should do tomorrow. I do understand you want to accomplish, and that desire is driving you. But if you rush life you will make mistakes. And then your speed is slowed down. You’ve got to learn to pace yourself, to move sure-footedly in life. It’s better than a crazed rush. Continue reading
Listen Jil, what do YOU want? I know what everybody wants for you but what do YOU want? Everyone in your family has a matrimonial candidate for you. And so you’re torn between two gentlemen. Your mum of course has her own agenda, which does not necessarily align with your happiness. She’s thinking of what is good for the family fortune, and what is good for public relations, not what is good for you. Your sisters also have their own opinion. (Unfortunately your Dad has no opinion on their opinions). But neither your mum nor your sisters will be in the marriage with you. You will be alone. They will be in THEIR homes Continue reading