Tag Archives: Choice

My dear Jack, I’m not sure it’s advisable to create a generic profile for women. Yes, there are basic commonalities but every woman has her unique identity. Same goes for men. I do concede though that there are broad spectra. Let’s call these spectra personality typologies. But as useful as these personality typologies may be we still have to come to terms with the peculiarities of the individual.

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My dear Jil,

Sometimes we think we are dealing with options and choices when in fact we’re not. There are false options in life. I want you to look at the “options” you presented: You’re currently dating a guy you said you’re not compatible with. And he wants to marry you ASAP. Why? Because he doesn’t want to lose you. Why? “Too many things at stake.” Yet your differences are so fundamental. You can’t stand many things about him. He’s a focused young man alright, but you’re nonetheless unhappy with him and it’s obvious you don’t love him. The only reason you’re struggling with the thought of marrying him is because you want to marry. This despite the fact that he shushes you up stylishly – essentially puts you down when you talk.

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Dear Jil,

A good relationship begins with a good choice of partner. So does a good marriage. Partner choice determines outcomes, flavours and progressions. Just think of the bonding of various chemicals. Some are toxic, some obnoxious, some volatile, some wonderful. If he’s not right for you or you’re not right for each other, the relationship has taken on issues before commencement. A bad partnership combination filled with hope is an anger fuelling bitter memory in the making. And that’s how the strange philosophy of “the reality of marriage” comes to being.

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