My dear Jil, I think you’ll be making a huge mistake if you go ahead and marry this gentleman. The issues will only get magnified in marriage. He’s not satisfied with you, you’re trying to adjust furiously, you’re not really yourself in the relationship. And in spite of all the adjustments things are still not okay. No adjustment can cure the fundamental problem in this relationship. And the fundamental issue is, you don’t love him, you just want to marry. You’re tired of waiting for Mr. Right. That’s never a good basis for a marriage. Essentially you’re marrying any man. It could have been anybody within a certain range. There’s no proprietary affection. Here’s the problem with such arrangement: once the wedding is over your strategic objective is fulfilled. There’s incentive for wedding, no incentive for marriage. But you have to cope with marriage. You don’t wed and walk out. It’s not wise to marry someone you don’t love. It soon shows in marriage. After some point you’ll get irritated. The alternative is for you to put up with the situation but that’s risking your emotional health. You’ll be flirting with depression.
