My dear Jil, you won’t understand and can’t understand: fathers are particularly protective of their daughters. That’s the problem you have with your father. It’s why he’s giving you all those troubles over marriage.
My dear Jil, we underestimate the importance of happiness in marriage. You shouldn’t go into a marriage in which you’re not going to be happy. It’s horrendous. You will be frustrated beyond measure, unable to communicate what’s really eating you up.
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My dear Jack, someone, I forgot who, sent this to me over the weekend and I thought to share it with you. I really don’t know who the writer is; for all you know it might have been inventive. But this was the way girls were toasted in those days. Your generation obviously doesn’t know how to toast babes. Continue reading
My dear Jil, I’ll try and explain it to you, this friendship stuff. But we’ll need to do some visualisation. It’s my way of “seeing” things. Imagine a long span bridge. Rather long. At one end you have “Sex” signage, and then just few meters after, you have “Romance.” Then imagine that at the very other end you have “Obligations,” and further after, you have “Disagreement.” And so at one extreme, you have “Sex” and “Romance,” and at the other end you have “Obligations” and “Disagreement.” Continue reading
My dear Jil, remember that couple we spoke about, the man and woman with beatific marriage? Well, when I asked him why he loved her so much his answers proved telling. There’s an ease about her, he says. Things are so easy. There’s a fit between them. It’s kind of hard to explain. It’s why he says relationships must not be enforced or forced. Continue reading
We all have a past Jil, there’s none of us without a past. There’s none of us who hasn’t done something he or she is not ashamed of in life. We all have unrevealed stuff that make us cringe in regret, actions we’d rather not talk about, memories we’d rather not revisit. Unless of course you somehow did a quantum leap over the period of youth and arrived at adulthood suddenly. Even as adults there are things we’ve all done we’re ashamed of. Everybody has a past, everybody has a present. Agreed some pasts are grosser than others and some sins more egregious than others, but we’re all sinners.
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My dear Jack, seems a tough one but let’s walk through the issues. The first thing you should be thankful about is that you have an honest girlfriend. She could have hidden the fact. You wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t told you, and that goes to her character. She has conscience at least. And she doesn’t want to marry you under false pretences hence the disclosure. If she’s the type that just wants to marry, she’ll never tell you. You’ll find out after one random blood test. Continue reading
My dear Jil, this has to be one of the most painful letters I ever wrote; it’s a letter I wish I didn’t have to write. But first, thank you for calling me the other day. Was refreshing hearing from you. I had actually put out word for you since I didn’t have your contact details. I’d asked your friends. Was told you were abroad. You can imagine my pleasant surprise hearing your voice on Thursday. It’s been a long time since we spoke.
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My dear Jack, this thing is not an “either…or” scenario. It’s not compulsory you choose either lady as wife. Let’s think through. Take the first lady. She is an inveterate liar you said you can’t trust. She’s only interested in you because her gamble with the guy she went after didn’t pay off. Continue reading
My dear Jil, as I read your mail, memories of a novel I read in secondary school came flooding in. I seriously doubt you’d have known a writer named James Hadley Chase – one of several pseudonyms. He wrote under five names. His birth name was actually Rene Lodge Brabazon Raymond. He was a crime writer, quite brilliant. Wrote 90 novels as Hadley Chase. Possibly read all ninety in secondary school! He had fantastic openings in his books. They’re the stuff of legend.
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