My dear Jil, I’d like to bring to your remembrance 60 lessons I have shared in my letters to you this year. I hope these precepts resonate again and you keep them in mind as you approach the new year. Continue reading


My dear Jil, I’d like to bring to your remembrance 60 lessons I have shared in my letters to you this year. I hope these precepts resonate again and you keep them in mind as you approach the new year. Continue reading
My dear Jil, if you keep cancelling dates like you do, nobody will take you serious. Even the man who’s very much into you and wants something with you will have to give up. Why, you ask. You cancel dates at the last minute, even dates agreed on a week earlier. You blow off guys. Something always comes up – though not always totally unjustifiable. But it all adds up. It shows the regard you have for people and hints at a self-centeredness, and even selfishness. Continue reading
My dear Jil, yes, I have followed the Sugabelly story. Your friends keep sending me materials to read. Some will believe her, some will be ambivalent, some will disbelieve, and some will condemn her, deliberately. My legal training already tells me what the lines of attack will be. It’s going to be her credibility. In pursuit of that, expect attacks on her mental and emotional state, as well as her economic motive. There’ll also be talk of political motivation – “the work of enemies,” to use Nigerian political parlance.Here’s a young lady saying she endured a terribly abusive relationship with a political scion. And this being Nigeria, religion will also intrude. What with some interested parties already swearing oaths! You’ll be lucky if ethnicity doesn’t find a way into the ring as well. It’s the Nigeria way of burying her head in the sand. But at some point that truth will come out. It always does, and with a band of corroborant corroborators. Truth is stubborn. Continue reading
My dear Jil, please stop crying. I know it’s tough but I understand. Being single at your age is just so tough – tough emotionally, tough physically. You’ve been through depression. You’ve been waiting so long, for this one man. Someone to love and who loves you back. Someone to call your own – the one who cares about you, who’ll grow old with you. Continue reading
My dear Jil, it’s important you have self-esteem. Without it you’ll auction yourself to the undeserving, or less deserving. Continue reading
My dear Jil, I’m a bit worried and concerned about this relationship. I think you’re laying yourself open to disappointment if you accept the premises under which it’s being prosecuted. The problem sometimes is, we so want to be in love, to be in a relationship that we jump into approximations of our desires. Continue reading
My dear Jil, please help pass this on to Mary, your sister. She wrote me last me week asking for advice. Continue reading
My dear Jil, it’s a self-esteem issue, not a biological issue. You’ve allowed the size of your breasts define your self-esteem and that’s not really healthy. Breast-size is a genetic lottery draw. You had nothing to do with it. Your genes determined the size of your breasts. That genetic scheme manifests cup-sizes, creating a mammalian alphabet system of measurement. And so you have cup-sizes A to D, the D and the like doubling in on themselves to accommodate larger cup sizes like DD. Continue reading