Letter to Jil

My dear Jil,

Today I want to share with you about the scent of a woman. Oh no, this is not an olfactory exercise in aid of a designer perfume. I am writing you to help you understand your capacities as a woman in the light of your impending nuptials.

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My dear Jil,

There’s no gainsaying the fact that you are a full figured woman! That’s what you are! Now you may choose to go on a diet and lose weight but as at this day, you’re a full figured woman. This guy met you full figured not skinny. He saw a full figured woman, toasted a full figured woman, got a “Yes!” from a full figured woman, he’s dating a full-figured-woman, now, that’s a full figured reality if e’er was one! Anyone can figure that out, not so?

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My dear Jil,

If there’s nothing you learn at all, it is the fact that men are visual. Extremely visual! And if Jack can’t change the essential nature of a woman, you can’t change a man’s either. He is visual!

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Dear Jil,

I want to tell you a story this morning!

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My dear Jil,

You’ve got to find a way to scale your past.

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My dear Jil,

Loneliness is a fact of life.

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Dear Jil,

I hope you don’t believe this gentleman. He’s taking you for granted. He stands you up and texts you the next day that he couldn’t call because his phone had problems. Tell me, is there only one phone in the entire country? Was he marooned on a desert island? Siberia? He had no access to any phone, not even a friend’s phone or the phone of a family member? You really don’t understand men do you? Here’s what I think happened (and don’t let anyone insult your intelligence in the name of love):

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My dear Jil…

My dear Jil, Mills & Boon (the romance paperback series) may have successfully sold lies to women! There’s always a hunk in these novels – a glistering bronzed Adonis with “piercing blue eyes.” Did I mention that he has a day-old stubble on his chin, drives an Alfa Romeo (always very fast) and looks rugged unshirted.

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My dear Jil, this is the second draft of this letter. As you can therefore imagine, it is not exactly an easy subject to tackle.

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My dear Jil, I do appreciate your candour in acknowledging that you sometimes have sexual pressure as a woman. Denial creates its own pressure through false personal standards. Let me give you the male perspective on sex. You’ll find it most useful in relating to the opposite sex. I’m going to give you insight into the inner workings of a man’s mind as regards sex – show you the mechanics. You’ll understand why a guy professing undying love can suddenly drop you after consummation of his lust. You’ll also understand why a man will date a girl for so long, sleeping with her all along but go on to marry his preserved.
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