My dear Jil, this has to be one of the most painful letters I ever wrote; it’s a letter I wish I didn’t have to write. But first, thank you for calling me the other day. Was refreshing hearing from you. I had actually put out word for you since I didn’t have your contact details. I’d asked your friends. Was told you were abroad. You can imagine my pleasant surprise hearing your voice on Thursday. It’s been a long time since we spoke.
Continue reading
My dear Jil, of course you’ve heard of the phrase, “Ceteris paribus.” It’s a Latin phrase meaning “other things being equal.” Another translation of “ceteris paribus” is “all other things being constant,” or “all else unchanged.” It’s a deploy of economists in determining causation and isolating variables. It’s almost like freezing time. But it’s not really real because in life other things are never equal. In life all else don’t remain unchanged, all other things are not constant, every action provokes a reaction; a change occurs.
Continue reading
“My dear Jil, it’s our wedding anniversary. As usual I have decided to pen a missive to you. It’s a diarisation of my appreciation, a documentation of the state of my heart, a gesture of gratitude.
Continue reading
My dear Jil, as I read your mail, memories of a novel I read in secondary school came flooding in. I seriously doubt you’d have known a writer named James Hadley Chase – one of several pseudonyms. He wrote under five names. His birth name was actually Rene Lodge Brabazon Raymond. He was a crime writer, quite brilliant. Wrote 90 novels as Hadley Chase. Possibly read all ninety in secondary school! He had fantastic openings in his books. They’re the stuff of legend.
Continue reading
My dear Jil, don’t know if you’ve ever heard of a programme called Grand Design. I think it’s on BBC Prime. Cable. It’s an architecture programme – beautiful, lovely houses on a grand scale. Creative architecture, mostly modern. These are not your run of the mill stuff. These are incredible houses – the type you’ll want to live in. Tasteful. Non garish. Well, I liken your unfolding relationship to grand design, or shall we call it grand deceit.
Continue reading
My dear Jil, you probably haven’t heard about Darius Complex. It stems from ancient history – a king in ancient times who arrogated to himself God-like powers. The name of this king was Darius. For thirty days everyone was supposed to pray to King Darius as if he was God. You weren’t allowed to pray to any other deity. Everyone had to supplicate Darius, king of Persia for all their needs in those thirty days. He was in effect acting God. Of course if you lived in Ancient Persia at that time and you worshipped God, the advent of this “Man-God” must have been alarming. That’s where “Darius Complex” came from – it’s about a human taking absolute authority over another person’s life.
Continue reading
My dear Jil, I just don’t get it. I hear it often but I didn’t know you subscribe to the notion too. You mean a guy asks you out on a date and you invite your girlfriend along? I don’t understand that. Now, I do understand a mini girls’ outing to which a guy is invited; but that’s clear to all the parties. In this instance however, the guy had no idea you were bringing along your friend. He came to pick you and found two women ready!
Continue reading
My dear Jil, the problem is you keep dating the wrong guys, it’s not that you have a string of bad luck with guys. You keep dating guys that are neither right for you nor care about you, guys who just want to exploit you. Funny thing is you know from onset these guys aren’t right for you but you plunge on all the same, just because you feel you must have a man.
Continue reading
My dear Jil, you’ve got to get rid of all those munched conversations on your phone. Love does not keep record of wrongs. In your case, you’re not only keeping record of wrongs, but evidence to be used in future prosecution of your boyfriend. And so when he says something in the future, you’ll go into that file drawer, pull out what he had said, annotated with date and time. Continue reading
