Dear Jil, you’re going to run into serious problems with the forces you’re toying with. Not sure you know who or what you’re dealing with. You don’t know Satan. So you want this man to love you and you’ve enlisted the help of Satan. You went to the voodoo priest / juju doctor. You don’t know what you’re doing. Let me tell you how the demonic beings you’re employing operate. Continue reading
My dear Mary, you’ll break your marriage eventually if you keep pursuing the current sexual policy in your marriage. Of course that’s not what you want but if your marriage breaks, your intention is a moot issue. A lack of intendment is irrelevant if we start playing with fire and end up arsonous. Continue reading
*Warning! Graphic content.
My dear Jack, if you want to put out a fire you cut off the oxygen supply. When you cut off the oxygen supply you weaken the fire. Then you can go after the residual rage of the fire. If it’s imprudent not cutting off the oxygen supply to stop a fire, imagine feeding the flame with accelerant to kill it. If you want to stop your addiction to masturbation, cut off the accelerant and oxygen to the flame in your groin – porn! You can’t be gourmandizing on porn and claim to want to stop addiction to masturbation. A fire fed accelerant won’t die. Continue reading
My dear Jil, there’s such a thing as emotional stinginess. You can’t be emotionally stingy in your relationship. You want a boyfriend who fawns over you, telling you he loves you… But you deliberately hold back on reciprocation. You don’t want to be emotionally forthcoming, or even gracious, just so you’ll be in control of the relationship. It smacks of meanness, borders on coldness, manipulatedness and hardness. It’s a narcissus complex. If the guy adopts the same self-induced emotional constipation what do you think will happen? Continue reading
My dear Jack, the average young man will pass through four stages in life post-graduation. By average I’m not talking about a young dude from a very rich home. He’s not an average young man. I’m talking about the young man born without a spoon – silver or wooden. Or without fork and knife. He needs to buy. He’ll struggle at the beginning as he strives to make it in life. He’s got to be driven if he wants to succeed. His relationship dynamics will follow the cadence of his historicity from stage to stage. Continue reading
My dear Jil, in my humble opinion you took the right decision for your life – you got out of the relationship. That was the only option available and it will hurt a while. You were emotionally invested. The hurt will be on two levels: there’s the hurt of getting out of a relationship. Then there’s the hurt of a postponed nuptial. Continue reading
Dear Jack, there’s that mistaken belief marriage is a one-way traffic system, not a two-lane highway. If you stick to that erroneous belief and start exercising one-sided faith in your relationship, your emotions will be at risk. Continue reading
[Dear Jack, no, your mum shouldn’t have brought spiritist water for your wife to medicate upon! Surely, you don’t expect your wife to drink such. Would you take substance from an unknown and unapproved source? Your wife has no knowledge of the origin of this “spiritual water”. Neither is she privy to its solutes or composites. Not to talk of its hygiene standard. Even its spiritual provenance requires verification. Continue reading
[This letter is not for everyone. It’s for those who’re human, those struggling with their nature]. Continue reading
My dear Jil, I keep telling you to leave this past alone, to get away from it as fast and as much as you can. If you don’t leave the pain of the past where it belongs, you’ll damage your marriage and your future. You won’t be able to relate well with your husband, and you’ll punish him for the sins of your father. Lots of marriages have broken up not because of present tense but of past participle. And you’re in a losing position here. The man that conditioned your worldview is long gone! You’re fighting a dead man. How can you win? Continue reading