All Letters

Dear Jack, you really have to be careful about toying with the emotions of women. That’s dangerous and volatile stuff. It’s liquefied natural gas and if it gets combusted the damage will be incalculable. It’s not stuff you joke with. I know there’s all that “sampling” philosophy out there, but people often get enmeshed in their sampling. Sampling has consequences. And when it plays out, samplers get messed up big time. Things get so messy. Be careful about your dalliances. You may end up with multiple children from multiple women. Nobody plans for that obviously, but it happens. And once children are introduced, that’s a permanent situation. It can take a lifetime to sort out the mess created and it may haunt you till you die. Continue reading →

The letter floated ashore, preserved in a plastic case – debris from the ill-fated plane crash on the Adriatic Ocean. It was a love letter from a man to his wife. She apparently carried it with her on her journey, among other mementos. There were 80th anniversary birthday cards in that plastic box. Some had children scrawls. “Happi BathDaY GrAMa,” one read cheerfully. “When are yOu bakin My choclat caKe?” The Adriatic being the northernmost arm of the Mediterranean Sea, the plastic case had floated ashore by that route Continue reading →

My dear Jack, I’m sending you the mail I sent to Jil on your behalf. And I attached the mail I sent to you. You will see I’m blunt in my assessment, but this is your best shot: Continue reading →

My dear Jil, life is full of trials. We all go through our fair share of trials. And yet you’ve been such a brave young woman. You’ve passed through what most can’t imagine or contemplate. You’ve experienced things that defy definition, or even explanation. It’s almost as if you’ve lived three lifetimes judging by the quantum of your experiences. And each challenge life has thrown at you, you’ve somehow punched down, even in utter weakness. Who knew you were so strong! One by one you beat the odds. Continue reading →

My dear Jack, it is important you have romance in your marriage; otherwise it will taste like dry bread. It’s bread alright, and will satisfy certain nutritional requirements; but it will be lacking in aesthetic flavour. And that aesthetic flavour is what makes marriage enjoyable and amiable. Without romance marriage becomes functional, even utilitarian. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, the problem sometimes is that we’re so focused on our wedding objective we lose sight of the marriage. So determined are you to marry this guy you’re not thinking of the viability of the marriage. You’re focused on momentous victory, not what lies beyond the “victory”. Such “victory” can only be pyrrhic. Continue reading →

Dear Jack, there just comes a point you must say to yourself, “You know what, I’m done with womanizing!” You say to yourself, “I’m done, and I’m just going to face my wife and marriage.” Then you’ll discover the liberty and emotional depth in your marriage.  Continue reading →

My dear Jil, you’re in a difficult situation. And to be honest with you I don’t understand your father. He’s holding you vicariously liable for the alleged sins of your mother. He’s punishing your mother by punishing you, by withholding consent to your wedding. It’s a proxy battle he’s waging. He’s fighting his ex wife through you and that doesn’t make sense! They’ve been divorced for how long now… 8 years? But he’s still fighting the battle. Kinda reminds one of those Japanese holdouts in the Pacific Theatre who continued to fight after end of World War II. Either they didn’t realize the war was over, or they held on to dogmatic beliefs. Continue reading →

My dear Mary, faith is not unthinking. And spirituality should not rob us of intelligence and commonsense. Paul says, “God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can.” (1 Corinthians 12:1-3 MSG). You can’t marry a man you’re not attracted to and can’t stand. You don’t even want to be around him! Yet the gentleman keeps telling you it’s God’s will for you to marry him. Continue reading →

My dear Jack, no one can force you to marry whom you don’t want to marry. Choice of marital mate is your prerogative. Marriage is an act of will. It’s why we say, “I do”. That presupposes we can say, “I don’t”, even at the altar! You shouldn’t marry under compulsion. If you don’t want to marry someone, don’t! But that doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for the natural consequences of your actions: If you impregnate someone you’ve got to take responsibility for the pregnancy. And please don’t tell me the pregnancy was a mistake. Considering how pregnancy comes about, how can it be a mistake? You went into a young woman. You impregnated her according to the order of nature. If you were not mistaken with penetrative deliberateness, how come the result of your ardour is now tagged a “mistake”? Continue reading →