Tag Archives: Gifts

My dear Jil, I think the seeming complications in this relationship are being driven by your insecurities. It seems the things you’re worried about are nothing to this man. He doesn’t care. For instance you’re worried about whether you’re fine enough for him. (He had a beautiful girlfriend). But he wants you. Which means you’re beautiful enough for him. You’re also allowing his profile and achievements intimidate you. That’s a bit understandable. And yet he wants you. You really don’t know why he wants you do you? He doesn’t want you because of your beauty, he wants you because there’s “something” about you that resonates inside him. There’s something. You said it yourself: you just click! You just seem to get along. You can talk freely with him, you’re free with him, you can be yourself… And you feel safe around him. When you met the chemistry was instant. Continue reading →

My dear young man, I kind of understand your confusion, if not disappointment. I mean, you went out of your way to buy the young lady a valentine’s gift… It’s something you thought through, just to make sure it’s the right gift for her. You went to that store, picked it yourself. And then nothing! Not a text, not a call to say thank you. You got that distinct feeling your effort was not appreciated; that the gift was not appreciated… Your gift ought to be appreciated, after all you bought it with your hard-earned money. The least she could do is call to say thank you, or send a thank you text that shows she appreciates the gift. Even outside the purview of relationship that’s courteous. When you’re given a gift you should at least say thank you. The whole thing kind of dashes your expectations, as well as projections. And it wasn’t a cheap present you bought. Makes you wonder. And makes her a wonderment.

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My dear Jack, tomorrow is Valentine. Time to prove your love and mettle. All those sweet things, and all those imagining – ¦time to prove them. Tomorrow is a verb not a noun. In the competitive department, Valentine means a lot to ladies. Everyone in the office checks out what each person received. It’s a time for one-upmanship for ladies – a sort of my gift is richer and bigger than yours undeclared competition. It’s also when ladies assess the quality of love a man has. And that’s measured in effort and gift quality. Continue reading →

Dear Jil, relationships are conceptualised as two-way traffic. The traffic can’t keep flowing in one direction. If you want to experience abundance of joy in your relationship, learn to give. It’s not the duty of one party to give. It’s the duty of both.

You can’t be stingy to your boyfriend. And you don’t justify stinginess with the logic, “After all, he’s the man!” That’s sexist selfishness. If you’re a stingy or grudging giver it will affect your relationship. It will become contrived. Even God in a typical display of anthropopathism loves a cheerful giver. If you don’t give, at some point the other party will start feeling cheated. Your partner may continue to give, but the joy that comes from reciprocity of affection is hoovered out of the relationship.

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