Dating

My dear Jil, the reason you keep having arguments and unending quarrels in this relationship is because of your disposition. You’re not balancing your needs with his needs. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, the desires of our life naturally present their own logic. This is more so in relationships. But we don’t always factor in the logic of our desire. Continue reading →

My dear Jack and Jil, I present a few nuggets from my letters to you this year. Here they are: Continue reading →

My dear Jack, ever heard of the word “tergiversation”? The word “tergiversation” means evasion of straightforward action or clear cut statement. You’re tergiversating concerning this young lady. You’re evading the question of commitment to her and you’re not straightforward concerning her status. You’re like the octopus. You’re polluting the water with inky blackness to facilitate escape. Continue reading →

My dear Jack, you’re going to lose this woman if you’re not careful, and you’re well on the way. You’re stoking her primal fears with your casual attitude towards money and your philosophy of relationship finance. She comes from a family in which the father behaved just as you’re doing now and she doesn’t want to experience what her mum went through. Her mum had to step in several times for her dad; she ended up bearing the total burden for the children’s education. It all began the way you’re behaving now – not taking total responsibility for your finance, somehow hoping she’ll always be there to step into the lacunae. Her father was not financially responsible and the family would have suffered immensely had the mum not stepped up to the plate. They suffered nonetheless.

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My dear Jil, he’s a chipmunk! That’s what he is! You know about chipmunks? They have an interesting quality. They have three-day memories. They can’t remember much beyond three days. So when they store food and don’t retrieve it before three days, they begin to scurry about searching for where they kept the food, desperately.

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Dear Jack, no, he shouldn’t have told you that. It’s because he doesn’t understand what you’re dealing with. You’re suffering from depression. Depression is a disease of the soul – no different from any other disease really, so nothing to be ashamed of. But it’s more vicious than many physical ailments.

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My dear Jil, you won’t understand and can’t understand: fathers are particularly protective of their daughters. That’s the problem you have with your father. It’s why he’s giving you all those troubles over marriage.

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My dear Jack, Valentine is coming up. You spoke about taking her to dinner. Is that still on? It’s the opportunity you have to re-sit that exam she conducted when she asked what made you convinced she was the one. Like I told you, in my mail she’s not looking for a narration of the sequence of your conviction. She just wanted you to give her words of assurance. It was a security question.

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My dear Jack, well, I can still say Happy New Year, can’t I? We corresponded last, last year. I do hope the year began very well for you. Sometimes, things start lugubriously. But the pace will soon pick up. Just resolve to be a better version of yourself irrespective of the mistakes you’ve already made this year. Don’t let them weigh you down. The year is too young for you to already be giving up on yourself. And thank you for the kind sentiments in your mail. I’m touched.

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