All Letters

My dear Jil, I’ll try and explain it to you, this friendship stuff. But we’ll need to do some visualisation. It’s my way of “seeing” things. Imagine a long span bridge. Rather long. At one end you have “Sex” signage, and then just few meters after, you have “Romance.” Then imagine that at the very other end you have “Obligations,” and further after, you have “Disagreement.” And so at one extreme, you have “Sex” and “Romance,” and at the other end you have “Obligations” and “Disagreement.” Continue reading →

My dear Jack, the starting point is seeing your gynaecologist. He or she will give you a picture of what’s going on. I advise this so your imagination is not fired up with worst case scenarios. Which is really what we tend to do in these circumstances. We automatically begin to imagine the worst, start all sorts of permutation, calculating our odds and options.
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My dear Jil, remember that couple we spoke about, the man and woman with beatific marriage? Well, when I asked him why he loved her so much his answers proved telling. There’s an ease about her, he says. Things are so easy. There’s a fit between them. It’s kind of hard to explain. It’s why he says relationships must not be enforced or forced. Continue reading →

My dear Jack, have you seen the movie, The Counsellor? You should see the movie. It’s the story of an otherwise successful Texas lawyer who had it all including a beautiful fiancée named Laura. The Counsellor becomes greedy. His financial needs force him to become involved in an ill-advised drug deal. There’s 4,000% potential return on the deal. Only he was dealing with a Mexican cartel, and Mexican cartels are merciless. In the mix was a sociopathic Malkina played brilliantly by Cameron Diaz. The Counsellor was clearly in the wrong company. Greed leads us into the wrong company.
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We all have a past Jil, there’s none of us without a past. There’s none of us who hasn’t done something he or she is not ashamed of in life. We all have unrevealed stuff that make us cringe in regret, actions we’d rather not talk about, memories we’d rather not revisit. Unless of course you somehow did a quantum leap over the period of youth and arrived at adulthood suddenly. Even as adults there are things we’ve all done we’re ashamed of. Everybody has a past, everybody has a present. Agreed some pasts are grosser than others and some sins more egregious than others, but we’re all sinners.
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My dear Jack, seems a tough one but let’s walk through the issues. The first thing you should be thankful about is that you have an honest girlfriend. She could have hidden the fact. You wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t told you, and that goes to her character. She has conscience at least. And she doesn’t want to marry you under false pretences hence the disclosure. If she’s the type that just wants to marry, she’ll never tell you. You’ll find out after one random blood test. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, this has to be one of the most painful letters I ever wrote; it’s a letter I wish I didn’t have to write. But first, thank you for calling me the other day. Was refreshing hearing from you. I had actually put out word for you since I didn’t have your contact details. I’d asked your friends. Was told you were abroad. You can imagine my pleasant surprise hearing your voice on Thursday. It’s been a long time since we spoke.
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Come on Jack, there’s something called anticipatory affection and there’s also responsorial affection. If she sends you a kisses emoticon that’s anticipatory affection. She’s anticipating a like-minded response. If you send back a similar emoticon that’s responsorial affection. These things have nuances. Continue reading →

My dear Jil, ever heard of a bacteria with an initial? Well, there’s one called H. Pylori (full name Helicobacter Pylori). That already tells you this bug is special, and what with that kind of name. It’s a nasty piece of work that can stay in your body for decades, bidding its time quietly.

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My dear Jack, this thing is not an “either…or” scenario. It’s not compulsory you choose either lady as wife. Let’s think through. Take the first lady. She is an inveterate liar you said you can’t trust. She’s only interested in you because her gamble with the guy she went after didn’t pay off. Continue reading →