
My dear Jil, the reason you keep having arguments and unending quarrels in this relationship is because of your disposition. You’re not balancing your needs with his needs. Continue reading
My dear Jil, the reason you keep having arguments and unending quarrels in this relationship is because of your disposition. You’re not balancing your needs with his needs. Continue reading
My dear Jil, the desires of our life naturally present their own logic. This is more so in relationships. But we don’t always factor in the logic of our desire. Continue reading
My dear Jack and Jil, I present a few nuggets from my letters to you this year. Here they are: Continue reading
My dear Jack, our matrimonial desires are sometimes regulated by our circumstances. As a young bachelor for example two of your most pressing issues will be loneliness and the need for proprietorship. By proprietorship I mean the desire to have someone you can call your own. Your loneliness will make you vulnerable to anyone who’s available. You’re thus prone to any woman who makes herself available in time and attention. You have to be careful about being fated by your situation, allowing your future to be determined by temporary conditions. Your matrimonial decision can’t just be based on ameliorating your physical loneliness. You have to consider other factors. Continue reading
My dear Jack, it’s about being concerned for each other, being committed to each other’s welfare and progress. Every marriage has a potential history embedded. And things will play out over the years. There’s the very fact of the marriage itself but then there are all sorts of things that will go on in individual lives. For instance, she has her work and you have yours. Different things happen at work. If you love her you’ll support her to succeed at what she does, just as she owes you support too.
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My dear Jil, remember that couple we spoke about, the man and woman with beatific marriage? Well, when I asked him why he loved her so much his answers proved telling. There’s an ease about her, he says. Things are so easy. There’s a fit between them. It’s kind of hard to explain. It’s why he says relationships must not be enforced or forced. Continue reading