My dear Jil, it’s a brand new year, and the year is so full of promise. Sorry I couldn’t answer your mail over the hols. I was away. Trying to catch up on my mails. There’s a ton in my box. Continue reading
My dear Jil, come on, you deserve better than this guy, and you know it! You’re dating him because you’ve put yourself in desperate straits – feeling or believing you can’t get any better. And this apart from the embarrassing fact that this guy tried to date two of your friends who turned him down for good reason. You feel you can’t get any better based on an aberrant philosophy. Continue reading
My dear Jil, distant relationships have their challenges. As much as your generation prides itself in digital embrace the sociological inadequacy of a Facebook romance is glaring. There’s only so much you can say or do over Facebook when it comes to relationship. You can’t go to the movies together on Facebook for instance. You can’t have a drink together. Can’t stroll together. Your case is doubly compounded because your boyfriend is not even in the country. Continue reading
My dear Jil, come on, think! Should you be relating to this sort of fellow! One expects a guy that age to be fairly settled. He’s in his forties. Not only is he unsettled and very under-achieved, he’s trolling young girls on Facebook. At 40? From onset all he’s been interested in is sex, and extorting money from you. That’s all he’s been interested in. Continue reading
My dear Jack, without commitment it’s just not going to work. I’m talking about committing your “self” to the relationship, not just being in a relationship. There’s a difference between being in a relationship and being committed to a relationship. Continue reading
It’s amazing, but what usually defines a relationship is just one event, only one. There’s an ultimacy to such events, an invisible ultimacy. Life is full of such ultimatenesses. Men are different from women in decision-making. Men rationalize their decision, seek justification for choice AFTER the event. Whereas for women, justification is BEFORE the event. Everything is settled based on that. Continue reading
My dear Jil, does faith or religion matter in a relationship? Well, I get this question regularly. In asking me this question, I suspect you’ve met a charming guy whose only disqualification for you is his faith. If we seek to answer your question from the proprietary perspective of each faith, we’ll get ensnared in relativism. So, let’s take a common sense approach to your question. Hopefully we can derive some wisdom. Continue reading
