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Personal development

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My dear Jack and Jil, I present a few nuggets from my letters to you this year. Here they are: Continue reading

My dear Jack, you’ve got to focus. If you want to succeed in life you have to focus. Focus means pouring your energy into something. It means putting in your all. Focus means avoiding distractions. And there are many distractions in life. Some are connubial. Focus means putting yourself on a material fast until you accomplish something. You avoid indulgence. You do delayed gratification. Continue reading

My dear Jack, if you knew you had just one day to live what would you do? Yes, I know young people don’t think about mortality. There’s the assumption of eternal life, like life is stretched out before you like a red carpet. Yet one has to live circumspectly and use his time wisely. Continue reading

My dear Jack, that’s a false definition of manhood and you have all these false notions out there of what a man really is. It’s like those beer adverts that define manhood as the ability to consume beer. Of course you don’t believe that, do you? If you believe a beer ad that says you’re noble because you consume a particular brand of beer, you must be desperate.
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My dear Jack, well, if she earns higher than you what can you do? It’s what it is. I mean, you can’t tell her employer to reduce her pay because she earns higher than you! “Increase my salary because my girlfriend earns higher than I” is obviously not tenable in the corporate sector. Someone is bound to ask, why don’t you date someone earning lower than you if it’s a real concern?
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My dear Jack, let me explain to you how the world works so you won’t be discouraged, perplexed or bitter. That will affect your marriage. You may inexplicably take it out on your wife in frustration. Like you said, you’ve not got any response to all those mails you sent out asking for help. That’s because the world doesn’t operate that way. You no doubt have a genuine and passionate desire to succeed, which is why you wrote all those people in the first place. All you’re asking from them is for connection, and you’re wondering why they won’t grant you even the courtesy of response. It would seem these men and women are wicked, don’t want to help a youth. All you’re asking for is a chance.
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My dear Jil, you’ve got to break this chain of she said, she said, she said. It’s all gossip. Gossip is why there’s present continuous fight among you and your friends. Hardly is one she said settled when another she said resurfaces. Sometimes she said within she said. And so your relationship with your girlfriends is in a constant state of she said she said she said. And you’re so few. There’s a fluid alliance generated by all this gossip. Your friend today may say something behind your back tomorrow. Then to defend yourself you have an ally with someone who said last week, only you fought before the new she said. It’s like someone is playing you guys like marionettes, like someone stirring up strife among you. With all this gossip you and your friends are more or less a “Real Wives” TV series now. All we need is cameras.
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My dear Jil, was so nice meeting you in Houston! We were glad – wife and I. Told you you’ll overcome! Given all you’ve been through you can legitimately claim to be a conqueror. You can’t give up on your singing. You’ve got to keep at it. You’re a beautiful and talented singer! It’s important you sing so you feel fulfilled using your talent. Continue reading

Dear Jack, thank you for the present you sent over the hols. I’m most appreciative. Thank you. Just returned from vac. Well, it’s another year. We grow older each and every year. May we grow in wisdom! If there’s nothing you pray for this year it’s wisdom. Continue reading

My dear Jack, you have to note there are a lot of distractions in life. Life’s distractions are so many, some seemingly innocuous but they will derail you from your course. You need focus as a young man. You’ve got to know what you want, the kind of life you want. And then you have to work assiduously to accomplish your goals and dreams. You must learn to face the day with purposefulness, to attack each day with mental strength. Continue reading

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