Dear Jack, you’ve got to try and figure out your life, seek to find your place in this world. It’s not something that will come to you easily. It’s a journey. And your wife is part of that journey. She provides emotional support for you, minding your base while you venture out into the field of discovery. Continue reading
My dear Jil, there are texts you shouldn’t read, in fact there are people whose text messages you shouldn’t open. If you know someone doesn’t like you or hates you, why read texts from such! You do yourself harm by opening texts from those who hate you. Continue reading
My dear Jack, you’re rather too young to be having stress-based health challenges. That you’re having so much stress on the subject matter of your marriage says a lot. You don’t yet understand the nature of life, and the nature of the wonderful being called human. Continue reading
My dear Jil, the chemistry you want in your marriage doesn’t come cheap. It takes effort. There are two phases of a relationship. There’s the attraction phase and there’s the maintenance phase. The adrenalin in the attraction phase constitutes a magnetic quantity that keeps a relationship cemented. But that phase will come to an end at some point. Then begins the maintenance phase and thence people struggle. Relationships need refreshment and they need maintenance. Continue reading
My dear Jack, there are two types of map in life – physical and virtual.
We’re pretty used to physical maps. They map physical interconnections – our streets, roads, alleys and our communities. But then there is the virtual map of life’s relationships and interconnections. No one sees it, yet it exists. Relationship virtual maps compress space and time. It’s why we say it’s a very small world. Continue reading
I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Lagos. Lagos is the commercial nerve centre of Nigeria. When people talk about Lagos they tend to imagine a continuous landmass stretching for miles unend. But that’s false geography. Lagos is not a stretch of landmass. It’s more like Venice. Continue reading
My dear Jack, I don’t know if you should continue to chase her. You’ve been at it for almost a year. The time elapsed does not qualify for playing hard to get and I’m not sure you’re what she wants. She’s not even making it possible for you to broach the subject of proposal. She’s stylishly dodging the issue. Continue reading
My dear Jil, thank you for your last mail. It gave me more insight about your person. I know the scars from the past are still there and the past seems to have left an indelible memory. The scars have made you tentative, afraid, sad at times, unsure. They put a shroud of mourning on the beauty of your spirit. But you have a lovely spirit, such simplicity and grace. But who’d ever have known! You’ve cried so much in the past few days and no one will believe you’re even emotional. Continue reading
My dear Jack, without commitment it’s just not going to work. I’m talking about committing your “self” to the relationship, not just being in a relationship. There’s a difference between being in a relationship and being committed to a relationship. Continue reading
It’s amazing, but what usually defines a relationship is just one event, only one. There’s an ultimacy to such events, an invisible ultimacy. Life is full of such ultimatenesses. Men are different from women in decision-making. Men rationalize their decision, seek justification for choice AFTER the event. Whereas for women, justification is BEFORE the event. Everything is settled based on that. Continue reading