
My dear Jil, I think the seeming complications in this relationship are being driven by your insecurities. It seems the things you’re worried about are nothing to this man. He doesn’t care. For instance you’re worried about whether you’re fine enough for him. (He had a beautiful girlfriend). But he wants you. Which means you’re beautiful enough for him. You’re also allowing his profile and achievements intimidate you. That’s a bit understandable. And yet he wants you. You really don’t know why he wants you do you? He doesn’t want you because of your beauty, he wants you because there’s “something” about you that resonates inside him. There’s something. You said it yourself: you just click! You just seem to get along. You can talk freely with him, you’re free with him, you can be yourself… And you feel safe around him. When you met the chemistry was instant. Continue reading
My dear Jil, to be honest with you I don’t understand why you’re walking around imagining yourself damaged on account of some past abortions. And you WERE a teenager for goodness sake! Now, of course different folks have different attitude towards abortion, but that’s beside the point. It’s done, it’s done, you can’t reverse history. You can’t keep living in regret. At some point you have to accept the past for what it is and move on with your life. Of course, there’s moral provincialism at play here and it’s largely dictated by culture and religion. That’s the reality of the society you live in. It’s a context in which abortion is treated as a definer of character and essence. The hypocrisy is that the impregnating male is not held equally responsible. And so he can’t have any residual guilt about the abortions. After all you didn’t impregnate yourself. A boy did. How come you’re the only one bearing continuous guilt for the abortions? He’s moved on. You better move on too. Continue reading
My dear Jil, the problem is, you see yourself as some sort of control panel. You’re controlling. It’s why the relationship can’t work. And given the facts of the relationship your assumption of control is rather ironic. You’re trying to control what you shouldn’t even be trying to control. Continue reading