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All Letters

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My dear Jil, I understand where you’re coming from. I’m not the condemning type. I understand how we can be so messed up by our desires and passions. Everyone is susceptible. It’s why you diligently guard your heart. Continue reading

Jil morning! Let’s quickly do an exercise. I want you to draw four boxes on a piece of paper, number them 1,2,3,4. You’re going to write some names in those boxes so make them fairly big. Label Box 1 “Very Difficult”, Box 2 “Difficult”, Box 3 “Easy”’ Box 4 “Very Easy.” Continue reading

My dear Jack, I’d say take the job. It’s not the dream job you want but it’s advisable to take it. You’ve got to start somewhere. The longer it takes to start your first job the more difficult things become. Besides, you can’t have a huge gap on your CV. Employers count that negatively. No one will tell you but that’s the truth. You’ll be queried about it at your job interview. The interviewer sees that gap as attitude to work, something like, What were you doing all this while, you mean you just stayed at home?! It’s the picture of a young man who wakes up in the morning purposeless and aimless. While others are at work he’s turning on his bed like a door on a hinge. Everyone starts somewhere, usually in a disadvantaged position. The people that are successful today… chances are they started very low. Continue reading

My dear Jil, this is not marriage. Whatever it is you have violates the essence of marriage. Is a bed of nails really a bed? Yes, it looks like one but can it support comfortable sleep? One might as well sleep on the floor. It will be more comfortable. Only an Indian mystic will fancy a bed of nails; but even for him it will be more about proving a point, and for a short period of time. No mystic permanently sleeps on a bed of nails. Continue reading

My dear Jack, there are things called “issues of life.” You must be mindful of them. Continue reading

My dear Jil, you have to be mindful of the philosophy you subscribe to for your marriage. There are all sorts of crazy stuff out there. Some advice are whimsical delusions of the demonic variety. You don’t whimsically start trouble in your home for no reason. And then you send a fleshly visual as compensation to your man after disturbing his peace. What kind of unfortunate advice is that?! It’s radioactive. The advice betrays a lack of understanding about the makeup of men. It’s a misbegotten permutation of affection – crass manipulativeness disguised as love game. It belongs to movies. It’s the S&M variant of affection. You follow that advice you’re going to wreck your marriage. You should at least examine the soundness of a marital advice before executing it. Continue reading

My dear Jack, that’s rather ostrobogulous! Boy, it’s weird! But what do you expect? Continue reading

My dear Jil, English language is a poor arbiter of certain expressions relative to native tongue. It just lacks capacity for certain imageries, can’t express full depths of meaning. Take the word translated “fool” in the Solomonic text, “The fool hath said in his heart there is no God.” When you read the West African Yoruba translation there’s a wide berth. The word “fool” is translated “asiwere.” Transliterated, “asiwere” means “local manufacturer of a variety of madness that manifests in grimy half nakedness in the market square – the type of madness that has gone beyond accommodation by family members. It knows no bounds.” How can the word, “fool” convey such depth of meaning? English language is poorly endowed for such cultural depth. It lacks capacity. Continue reading

My dear Jack, in my last letter I explained to you that life is going to happen to your generation. It happens to every generation. Continue reading

My dear Jil, you’re thinking short term but when it comes to marriage you have to think long term.

Continue reading

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Page 3 of 63
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