All Letters

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Dear Jack,

You had a horrific experience with your last girlfriend. I’ll advice you avoid dating the same type of woman again.

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Dear Jil,

Let me give you insight into one of the greatest relationship destroyers. It’s named Pride!

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My very own Jack,

My letter to you today will take on a different hue. Today I want to talk about political responsibility. The drums of war are rolling, the cymbals are clanging, the eagles are gathering. Where are you Jack? Don’t blame the politicians for the ills of the nation if you don’t want to get involved. He who does not prevent a crime when he can, encourages it, Seneca said. Things are not just going to fall into place. A successful nation is not an accident.

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My dear Jil,

My letter today is going to take on a slightly different tone. It’s going to be about politics, our dear nation and your role in national affairs. We can always talk about boys. That topic is inexhaustible. But there’s more to life than boys!

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My dear Jack,

I’m afraid you’re dating your imagination. You’re projecting the physical attributes of your girlfriend and dimensioning them into matrimonial attributes. In other words you’re not dealing with facts, just desires and suppositions. You must see your girlfriend for who she truly is. Don’t explain away the facts. That’s always a huge mistake.

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Dear Jil,

There are no two ways about it – your now ex-boyfriend is a rapist! He raped you! The fact that he’s your boyfriend doesn’t make it any less rape. Forced sexual intercourse is rape.

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Dear Jack,

Thank you for delivering my letter to Jackson last week. Do pass this one to him as well. Unfinished business: “Dear Jackson, I want to tell you a story… about fish and chips, well sort of – a true story.

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Dear Jil,

Thank you for delivering last week’s letter to Jilette. Well, I’m Oliver Twist now. Can you deliver this too?

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My dear Jackson,

I asked your brother Jack to deliver this letter because I’ll be away all week. We’ll talk when I’m back. You raised certain issues in your letter. I think it all boils down to self esteem – what you think of yourself. Give it a few years and you’ll realise those “cool” guys you spoke about are operating on a false definition.

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