My dear Jack, you were eager for marriage, and now you’re married you’re complaining your wife is emotionally demanding. What do you think marriage is about? Of course she has a right to be emotionally demanding. Haven’t you heard of the law of demand and supply? Welcome to classical matrimonial economics. Continue reading
My dear Jack, you’ve got to focus. If you want to succeed in life you have to focus. Focus means pouring your energy into something. It means putting in your all. Focus means avoiding distractions. And there are many distractions in life. Some are connubial. Focus means putting yourself on a material fast until you accomplish something. You avoid indulgence. You do delayed gratification. Continue reading
My dear Jack, ever heard of the word “tergiversation”? The word “tergiversation” means evasion of straightforward action or clear cut statement. You’re tergiversating concerning this young lady. You’re evading the question of commitment to her and you’re not straightforward concerning her status. You’re like the octopus. You’re polluting the water with inky blackness to facilitate escape. Continue reading
Dear Jack, yes, you said as much. You said she’s attractive. But let me tell you a little bit about that in marriage. You get used to it. Because you don’t live together now, you don’t see her every day. And so that attractiveness commands a premium. Law of scarcity. It increases value. But in marriage it’s not going to be like that. You’re going to see her every day – see her without make up, see her perform hygiene ablutions… You won’t see her in the perfect state you see her now. Continue reading
My dear Jack, the concept of a woman is most intriguing. For you to appreciate her you have to step out of that relationship and look at her like a scientist.
A woman is capable of a certain level of loyalty because her emotions are bound in her decisions. Men lack that level of capacity. Which is not saying men can’t be loyal. It’s just that a man’s loyalty is based on a different set of criteria – self-interest and principle. It’s wholly rational. But a woman’s loyalty is different. If she’s with you she’s with you. For the most it takes actively pushing her away, or doing something very hurtful to do away with that loyalty. And so when a woman hitches her wagon to a man, it’s a rather serious thing. Continue reading
My dear Jack, our matrimonial desires are sometimes regulated by our circumstances. As a young bachelor for example two of your most pressing issues will be loneliness and the need for proprietorship. By proprietorship I mean the desire to have someone you can call your own. Your loneliness will make you vulnerable to anyone who’s available. You’re thus prone to any woman who makes herself available in time and attention. You have to be careful about being fated by your situation, allowing your future to be determined by temporary conditions. Your matrimonial decision can’t just be based on ameliorating your physical loneliness. You have to consider other factors. Continue reading
Dear Jack, I think it’s about that saying about knowing how to be abased and how to abound. Finance is a major thing in marriage. I’ve told you that before. Not properly handled it can dislocate a marriage. It’s wise to know where your wife is coming from. It will help you understand her attitude to some things. You can see for example that she’s particular about financial security for the family. It’s because of what she deems her father’s mistakes. When you know where your wife is coming from you will have insight into her motivations and fears. For instance she’s against relatives coming to stay over during vacation. That’s coming from somewhere, she’s not being difficult. Continue reading
